Hell on wheels in a black dress

Personal Development

2007-03-29T11:21:15Z

Oooh, I've just been told by the County Manager that my forced move to Huntingdon is not just because of the needs of the service, but also for my own personal development... yeah because my personal development will really be enhanced by an extra 2 hours a day on the road!

Cynical, moi?

I'm sorry, I have to rant!

2007-03-28T14:12:21Z

I'm mad. Actually I'm past mad. In fact I'm so far passed mad I'm chewing nails and spitting tacks!
Not only have I been evicted from my desk I am now being told they want me to work from our new office... in Huntingdon!!!!!

But don't worry, because it's only for 3 months at the moment and they'll pay me "reorganisation allowance" to cover the extra petrol (although this is then subject to tax and NI so I *may* just about recoup the extra cost), though they don't allow me anything for the extra 2 hours (not including any time spent in the inevitable traffic jams) I'll be driving each day! Oh, and by the way, I still need to be at work for 0845 every morning which, of course, is no problem as it only means I'll be having to leave my house at 0645 at the *very* latest.

Now why should I have problem with any of that???

Sanity Optional

2007-03-22T16:48:30Z

Maybe it's the crispy white snow. Maybe it's the lack of caffeine. Maybe it's because I'm sick. Maybe it's the insane ammount of tea I'm currently drinking. Or maybe it's because Benylin really shouldn't be mixed with alcohol!

Whatever the reason, my sanity has called in vacation time and I've gone and signed up for another charity "fun" run. This time it's Cancer UK's Race For Life - a women only 5k race that takes place every year at a vast number of venues nationwide. The one I'm attempting is at Cambridge at 11:00hrs on Sunday June 10th.
Should any of you wish to sponsor me (and thereby earn good karma) you can do so here: http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/knowyourdog

Thank you kindly

Sanity Optional

2007-03-13T12:09:03Z

Maybe it's the nice weather after so much grey. Maybe it's the lack of caffeine. Maybe it's the expectation of getting well and truly trashed tonight at a J&C Trading taster session. Or maybe it's the fact that I attended a 1 year-old's birthday party on Sunday and haven't yet come down from the sugar high!

Whatever the reason, my sanity has called in vacation time today and I've gone and signed up for another charity "fun" run. This time it's Cancer UK's Race For Life - a women only 5k race that takes place every year at a vast number of venues nationwide. The one I'm attempting is at Cambridge at 11:00hrs on Sunday June 10th.

Should any of you wish to sponsor me (and thereby earn good karma) you can do so here: http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/knowyourdog

Thank you kindly

I thought I was at work…

2006-11-22T10:45:17Z

Turns out I’m in Kindergarten.

As we now have computers on the desks vacated by those admin who got shunted upstairs Sandra decided that she wanted to move desks so that people weren’t constantly walking behind her. No one in admin had a problem with this, but “the management” have stated that she can’t move yet because they are going to sort out where everyone is sitting. Kate thinks the next thing will be little pegs to hang our coats on… you know, the ones with your name and the little pictures so you can tell which one’s yours.

Nice to see they think we’re all adults who can make decisions about our working environment.

Poprocks And Coke

2006-08-14T09:37:51Z

I can't decide if I'm bored or not... but I did this the other day and figured I'd post it here. No real reason, just because I can.

Choose a band/artist: Green Day
Answer the following questions ONLY using titles of their songs.

1.Are you male or female:
Whatsername

2. Describe yourself:
Basket Case

3. How do some people feel about you:
American Idiot

4. How do you feel about yourself:
Walking Contradiction

5. Describe your day:
Misery

6. Describe current gf/bf:
Walking Alone

7. Describe where you want to be:
Macy’s Day Parade

8. Describe how you live:
Desensitised

9. What would you ask for if you had just one wish:
Blood, Sex And Booze

10. Share a few words of Wisdom:
Who Wrote Holden Caulfield

11. Now say goodbye:
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)

Obit

2006-08-02T17:34:02Z

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

In other news... I have a new car. Well, it's not "new" new, just new for me. It's a 1.4 Rover 214 SI and is probably not going to allow my insurance premiums to remain at £25 a month. Ho hum.

Oh, and Holly (the little Nova) is going to be taken banger racing this weekend by the scrappy's son. How cool is that?

Blagged from elsewhere...

2006-07-28T14:57:42Z

ISFJ-The Protector
You scored 0% I to E, 68% N to S, 47% F to T, and 36% J to P!

The protector type is called such because you feel your life is best used to protect those you love from the pitfalls of life, to see to their safety and security. You belong to the larger group called guardians. You find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden. You are not talkative with strangers, but you can chat tirelessly with those you trust. You have a good solid work ethic. You are thorough and very likely frugal. You do not like to be in a place of authority, and will delegate poorly if forced into a lead position. You share your type with 10% of the population.
As a romantic partner, you are generous and gentle. Occasionally you may be taken for granted because of this fact. You are tireless in providing acts of service for your loved ones. You run the risk of always being exhausted because you won't say no to your partner. You are sensitive to criticism and will withdraw rather than fight back. You wish to be appreciated for your loyalty and whole hearted nuturing. Your values must be respected and you thrive on consideration and kindness.
Your group summary: Guardians (SJ)
Your Type Summary: ISFJ

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on I to E

You scored higher than 87% on N to S

You scored higher than 64% on F to T

You scored higher than 36% on J to P

Link: The LONG Scientific Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Yeah, I rolled about laughing when I read that too!

I think I finally lost all my marbles...

2006-07-28T12:45:43Z

Well, that's if I actually had any to begin with... never been sure on that count. Oh well.

Anyways, as some of you already know I've signed up to do a fun run (yeah, I've never got that either; "fun" and "run" in the same sentence. Shocking.) for charity on the 3rd September in Hyde Park. Anyone who wants to come along and give me moral support (mocking laughter doesn't count as support until after the run when I'm happily ensconced in the nearest pub with a cold beer) is more than welcome.

Otherwise go here: http://www.justgiving.com/knowyourdog and give me all your money :)

Stolen from Rich

2006-07-11T10:15:58Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	× I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
× I wear glasses or contact lenses.	× I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana. (And I couldn't really see the point of it afterwards...)
× I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones.	✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	× I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now.
✓ I love sushi.	✓ I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
✓ I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling.
✓ I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	✓ I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
× I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	✓ I am usually pessimistic.
✓ I have a lot of mood swings.	× I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.	✓ I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	× I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex.	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
× I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
✓ I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	✓ I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	× I want to have children in the future.
× I have changed a diaper before.	✓ I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn.	✓ I am shy around the opposite sex. (But only if I fancy them)	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I enjoy some country music. (I'm sad, I know)
✓ I would die for my best friends.	✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	× I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	× Republican.
✓ I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	✓ I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s).	× I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
✓ I walk barefoot wherever I can.	× I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	× I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
✓ I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
✓ I am a pyro. (What can I say, I love fire)	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
✓ I fall for the worst people.	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	× I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse.	× I still have every journal I've ever written in.	✓ I talk in my sleep. (Or so I'm told)
✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
✓ I have a tattoo.	✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	✓ I am a caffeine junkie.
✓ I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	✓ If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	× I'm an artist.	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	✓ I have terrible teeth.
✓ I hate my toes.	× I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	✓ I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before.	✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
✓ I can't stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
✓ I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	✓ I'm a judgmental asshole.	✓ I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
✓ I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	× I can speak more than one language.	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
× I would rather read than watch TV.	× I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
× I have no piercings.	✓ I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	✓ I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	✓ I like most animals better than most people.
× I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
✓ I always carry something significant around with me.	✓ Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
✓ I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	× I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.	× I don't like to chew gum.
✓ I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	✓ I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	✓ I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	× I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	× I have a custom-built computer.	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
✓ I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	× I've gone skinny-dipping.	× I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	✓ I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	✓ I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	✓ I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	× I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	✓ I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

Oh look!

2006-06-15T18:24:13Z

I'm still at the office. Now there's a surprise!

What's even more surprising is who's fault it is that I had my really important work bumped by mega important work because he was just too busy and couldn't possibly take it on despite the fact that he managed to take over an hour lunch and had already "nipped out" for a sandwich and also keeps paying half hour visits to his worker who's been shunted upstairs (though curiously I thought he'd been superglued to his chair this morning while management were in) whilst Nat and I were hammering mercilessly on our poor keyboards.

*grrr* Anyone fancy a little venting of frustration/ target practice???

The best things in life are free...

2006-06-07T17:18:23Z

Okay, so I know I've probably mentioned this like a hundred times before but I have to say that I just have the coolest friends *ever*.

Seriously... how would I be going to see Bon Jovi on Sunday if I didn't just have the best friends in the world???

I *love* Sam right now... there I was having a pretty blah day at the office, despite having my hair cut and therefore terrifically straightend and getting numerous comments about how nice it looked, and along comes this little email from Sam telling me that I had better be free on Sunday "OR ELSE" because she's just won tickets to go see Bon Jovi!!!!!

Now, technically I'm not free because the crumblies are away again so I'm on horse duty but I'm hardly gonna pass up free tickets like that now, am I? So I called mother and asked her what time they were liable to be back on Sunday because of the whole free tix situation... luckily (for her) she said "go, we'll just have to sort something out". Can we say *eeek* Now I may actually have to go and buy her some flowers or chocolate for that because she could have been a complete bitch and said "No", but then maybe she realised that I may have just been tempted to slaughter her in her sleep if she had done....

Still, she didn't, I have moved off the potential murder suspect list and much eeekness has since ensued, Sam and I got remarkably silly on the phone and I'm sure there was word salad, but at least we were sensible enough to leave sorting out the details until tomorrow.
Although, this does mean I absolutely *have* to go to town tomorrow as I sadly have to admit to not owning the latest album :o

Shocking, I know.

Just a thought...

2006-05-28T17:53:43Z

That's actually quite disturbing...

2006-05-26T12:36:27Z

Us girlies have just been discussing our colleague’s upcoming Hen Night and we’re talking about people who hadn’t got the email invite when Dickhead Dave pipes up with “Well I didn’t get the email”

Um… hello! You’re male. The whole point of Hen Nights is that it’s girlies only.

I guess I should mention at this point that what was going through my head at this point was actually something along the lines of "you may not have balls, but you're technically still considered male" but I did manage not to say it. Might have been funny though just to see the look on his face *g* I'm evil aren't I?

Actually we did toy with the idea of telling him he could come if he dressed up as a woman but then decided that he might take us seriously... and isn't *that* a scary mental image :o

Because I've just finished working...

2006-05-24T19:17:05Z

... and I'm bored and pissed off and [obviously] the only one left in the building, if not the entire business park!

Overlooked
You scored 25 Irritating!

You don't even cause the Almighty Penguin the smallest bit of annoyance. He can completely over look you, or He might even approve of you! This is an honor! May you serve the Almighty Penguin well!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on Irritating

Link: The Irritated Penguin Test written by ChefSlash16 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Good news!

2006-05-23T16:47:32Z

Well, great news, in fact!

For those of you who don’t know – last Thursday the network bosses announced that Supernatural has been re-signed for a second season, so ladies we can all breathe easy that there will be ample opportunity to drool over the lovely Jensen. Just remember that Nancy saw him first ;)

For those of you who don’t care that there’ll be a season 2, I say; “Bite me. No, wait… bite her, just don’t leave teeth marks”!

Jolly Hockeysticks

2006-05-15T21:06:47Z

Just so's all y'all know that I'm back, black (well, the hair is at least) and dangerous to know *g*

Yet again I managed to successfully sneak my contraband (a vast number of dvds and cds) past the Customs dudes without getting stopped and for once I actually managed to not have to buy more bags to ship all my shit back, though in fairness Nancy is currently holding a couple of things that I wasn't sure would survive the trip if I stuffed them into the already bursting at the seams hold-alls I had :o

I'll be backdating the vacation entries when I get a chance (I'm on dial-up for tonight so I'm not bothering right now) as I was writing stuff while traipsing round the country but we couldn't find an internet cafe in DC for love nor money, hence the lack of updates.

Anyways, heading off to try hooking up to myspace again as for some reason it thinks that I no longer exist as a member despite the fact that my page is still there... ho hum...

Clairvoiants & Mediums

2006-04-28T13:35:51Z

So the trip to the psychic fair last night was interesting. I ended up buying another pendulum which I really didn't need, but talking Sam into buying one she liked made me feel beeter :) I did resist buying the Amethyst angel charm that I liked because I already have an Amethyst pendant.

The medium I saw was Tracy, and a lot of stuff that was brought up I already knew, but I suppose in a way that was a good thing as it meant that I knew she was the genuine article and not some fraudster who’d just say anything to make a quick buck.

The only thing that bothered me slightly was when she mentioned that one of my spirit guides is not happy about the tattoos on my back… as I don’t yet have them I’m wondering if I shouldn’t be going ahead with them after all. I still really want to get them done, but I don’t want to piss off my spirit guides. Hmm, nothing’s ever simple is it?

A Bold Leap Forward...

2006-04-27T14:48:01Z

So I expect a lot of people already knew this, but as usual I'm behind the curve: Quantum Leap is coming back!!!

Yes, yes, I know it's been repeated on God knows how many channels, but this is not yet another re-run... the amazing can-do-no-wrong Mr Don Bellisario has decided to grace us with a new series! And both Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell (the original Sam & Al) have signed up.

How cool is that?!

Did you know...?

2006-04-25T14:01:38Z

Okay, I posted this on myspace yesterday and kinda forgot to put it here too, which probably wouldn't matter but people are wanting entertainment and I'm really not in the mood because Dickhead Dave has managed to piss me off despite not actually being in the office!

Anyways, interesting thought for the day...

M&M's were originally designed so that soldiers could eat candy without getting sticky fingers.

Busted!

2006-04-24T17:16:10Z

Well, almost!

I *so* thought I was going to get pulled over by the rozzers driving home Saturday night!

I was heading back from Sam's and decided I really needed to take my bra off, so I did... while travelling at 80mph along the A14 (it has a 70 limit). Just as I throw said bra on the pasenger seat a car overtakes me, and bugger me if it isn't a traffic cop!! I was just waiting for him to throw on his blues and book me for speeding and driving without due care... luckily though, he appeared to either not have noticed or he had somewhere more important to be (like Kentucky Fried Chicken) because he just sailed past me and disappeared into the night.

Phew!

The evening's entertainment

2006-04-22T23:35:47Z

Was evidently Sam... No, seriously!

We've been at the reception for two of samphirette co-workers after their Civil Ceremony (Sam was invited and wanted some company, hence me tagging along) and we were having a good old boogie when we noticed that Sam had grabbed someone's attention enough for him to shoot several minutes worth of footage on his mobile phone!

I thought it was majorly funny, despite being wrong on several levels. Sam just thought it was weird. Still, maybe we should have grabbed him and demanded a copy...

Other weirdness included being dragged into a foursome on the dance floor with the bride and, er, 'groom' but all-in-all it was a bloody good night.

Now all I have to do is head home and decide if it's worth actually going to bed or if I should just watch crap tv until 0600 when I have to get up anyway. Shame I still haven't found my radio code or I could at least have decent music on the ride home, courtesy of The Chief, as my surprise was a compliation tape of songs that we had been throwing around as possible soundtracks for characters from NCIS (look, we know it's a bit sad but we don't get out much, 'kay) as a homage to Johnny Walker's Drivetime and for entertainment during the roadtrip. I have such awesome friends!

A few thoughts for the end of the day...

2006-04-20T16:27:36Z

Dictate the pace: Just as a group attitude or mood can influence the individual, a determined individual can influence the group. By moving slowly, speaking calmly, you can spread a feeling of calm within a group.

Leave them wanting less: "Everybody crowds round so in this Forest. There's no Space. I never saw a more Spreading lot of animals in my life, and in all the wrong places. Can't you see that Christopher Robin wants to be alone? I'm going." And he humped off.

Manners: Always say Goodbye-and-thank-you-for-a-nice-time.

Today's lesson endeth here.

My brain has malfunctioned

2006-04-18T14:34:00Z

I am bored, can't be bothered to do the tons of work on my desk and I seem unable to string together enough sentences to sufficiently describe the weekend. So I'm thieving again... say hello to my colorgenics profile:

You are trying desperately to prove yourself. You are going at it hammer and tongs in order to get your own way. You oppose any sort of restriction or opposition to your own point of view in the belief that this could prove you how self determined you are.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are feeling full of uncertainty and worrying over what you consider as missed opportunities. This is causing considerable stress and tension. You feel that there must be more to life than the constant pressures and anxieties - that surely life must hold far more opportunities than that which it has to date presented to you. You sincerely believe that there must be a simpler way to tap life's hidden recourses and should you be able to find that way - you could achieve your hearts desire. It's the not knowing 'how' that is affording you the constant worry. You are constantly probing and seeking - trying to ensure that at all times you are on your guard against missing any opportunity. 'Enough is enough'. You are anxious to avoid further setbacks. You are strenuously trying to make sure that you will not be overlooked and you badly need security.

There is that inherent fear that you may be prevented from attaining the better things in life - those things that you consider essential to your well-being. So you are prepared to try everything to prove to yourself that whatever you do or try will go wrong. This destructive attitude could come under the heading of 'a self fulfilling prophesy'. This belittling yourself is your method of disguising how hopeless and what a waste of time you feel that everything is. So now turn it about. As you 'think', so you are... So 'imagine' yourself successful. 'Pretend', 'act it out' and you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

Hmmm, interesting. Completely whacked, but interesting none the less.

So sue me.

2006-04-18T13:26:55Z

I haven't got round to writing up the weekend yet... so I stole this from Gerri.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?: Wow, my hair looks just like Fizzgig!

2. When is the next time you will have sex?: Look, how many times do I have to tell you - I'm a sidekick NOT a psychic!

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?: Floor... which is looking strangely attractive and unreasonably comfortable at the moment

4. Favorite planet?: Mars because it's got the coolest soundtrack (we're talking Holst here people - I do have some edumication)

5. Who is the 3rd person on your missed call list on your mobile?: Weirdly I don't appear to have a missed call list... hmm, must re-read the destructions

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?: Currently it's a toss up between the Fraggle Rock and Muppet Show themes - I just need a little longer to find which is the most irritating to other people in my office

7. What shirt are you wearing?: A grey v-neck t-shirt. The purple one I wanted to wear won't sit right on my shoulders as it's a little too big, so kept showing off my bra straps which is apparently a disciplinary offence when you work for the government

8. Do you "label" yourself?: I do try, but they keep falling off...

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?: Some cheap generic brand coz I couldn't afford the Faith boots I wanted. And, no, I'm not taking them off to look at the label

10. Bright or dark room?: Depends what I'm doing

11. What do you think of the person you copied this from: Having only met her twice I'm still reserving judgement, but so far Gerri seems plenty worth getting to know

12. Take a break...: Have a KitKat. Oh, wait, the diet started today... I'll just have the coffee then. That's safe, right?

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Unpicking several hours' work on my cross-stitch because I was a stitch out and if I'd carried on it would've been completely fubar'd as opposed to mildly fubar'd as it was at the time

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?: You've been sent a picture message!

15. Where is your letter box?: Outside the front gate as the postie is rightly afraid of the Labrador Security Co. I have an alternate one in Perth Amboy, NJ

16. What's a word that you say a lot?: Qué?

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?: Um... probably Nancy. She does that a lot. She's crazy.

18. Last furry thing you touched?: Shadow because he asked for snuggles this morning in a devious ploy to get me to drop my guard so he could steal my tea... he *almost* pulled it off too

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?: Three. Four if you count the coffee

21. Favorite age you have been so far?: I dunno, every age has it's bad side and I always seem to be on it

22. Your worst enemy?: I have no enemies. I'm like Raymond, everybody loves me :)

23. What is your current desktop picture?: I'm pleading the fifth - I reserve the right not to incriminate myself for fear of obsession mocking by samphirette

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?: "I answer to anything, including 'Oi, you'..." to our new Kinship Manager who apparently has trouble with names

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you do?: Um, money or fly... it's all about the Benjamins, baby. Besides, have tons of money and you can afford the airfare anyway :)

26. Do you like someone?: I like tons of people. And if you mean do I LIKE someone then yeah, but it's not like I can actually do anything about it and if someone accidentally lets it slip... well, lets just say there will be reprisals

27. Are you dating them?: ROFL. Nope. And the likelihood of it ever happening is *so* mindboglingly improbable that even my alternate headspace reality refuses to accept it as a viable prospect

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet for them?: Not *for* them, no. But I might well do it just for the hell of it

29. If you could punch one person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?: There's nobody I'd like to punch. Though there is someone I'd really like to see get punched... I just don't think I could really bring myself to actually make physical contact.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?: My right foot?